Short Story #7: At The Food Court

Lily was at the food court. She was very hungry. She took her time deciding what to buy. The aroma of delicious food made her even hungrier. Tucked away in the corner, a noodle stall was doing brisk business. Soon, Lily held a bowl of piping hot noodle soup in her hands. She made her way to a vacant table. A cleaner was mopping the floor. Lily lifted her eyes to the television, which was blaring loudly. She tripped over the cleaner's mop. The bowl of hot soup landed on the floor. The bowl broke into pieces. Lily looked at the mess in horror. 

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This is from 'Quick Reference To Creative Writing' for Primary 3&4 students. I am trying to dissect this short passage as I find it quite succinct and interesting. 

Things to take note:

1. the part where she finally decided what to buy wasn't included

2. who she was sitting with was not important

3. the content of the television show wasn't added 

4. I just found out that she didn't even got to sit down actually eat, thus omitting (2)

5. so she lost balance and the bowl slipped out of her hands, so she was not grasping the bowl tightly. And it fell on the floor, thus her clothes are clean.

6. Lastly, I assumed this happened in a school. But nope. 

I know this is a short story but details are extremely important. As it slowly unfolds, the situation has to make A LOT OF sense.

So here is my own take of the story:

Lily's stomach grumbled rather loudly as she stood in the crowded food court deciding what to buy. Normally she would feel embarrassed but she was too hungry to care and the heavy aroma of delicious food was not helping. Ignoring the dirty looks some passers-by were giving her, she moved to a noodle stall tucked away in the corner where it was doing brisk business. Soon, Lily held a bowl of piping hot noodle soup in her hands. As she made her way to a vacant table, she was distracted by a commercial currently playing on the television. It was the trailer for the new Avengers movie, where it briefly showed an appearance of the drop dead gorgeous Quicksilver when she lifted her eyes to the television. She sighed dreamily at the handsome sight, unaware of a cleaner mopping the floor in front of her. Before she knew it, she tripped over the cleaner's mop, losing her grip on her bowl. It happened so fast. The bowl of hot soup landed on the floor, breaking into a million pieces. The sound of glass shattering made her grimace and the furious look on the cleaner's face was more than enough to pull her out of her daydream. Lily looked at the mess in horror. While she was glad the brand new blouse she was wearing was spared from being dirtied, she regretted not paying attention and her lack of focus had troubled the cleaner even more.